Female Infidelity

The July 4, 2004 issue of Newsweek features a shocking article about female infidelity. It seems that because men and women work together in offices all day, people roam from their vows and marriages are destroyed. The rate of female infidelity is now approaching that of men, which is even worse.

We must emphasize, and this fits right in with the article, that women today are no less honest and decent than their mothers or grandmothers. If their mothers or grandmothers spent hours every day in the close presence of other men, the same would have happened.

The Talmud goes further. Not only do even good people fall for other people of the opposite sex when the opportunity presents itself, but also the very righteous are also culpable. The fire of sexual desire affects everyone, especially decent and pious people!

Freud would explain the Talmud's assertion that the very pious have very great sexual urges, hidden under a mat of piety, but ever ready to spring, as repression. The higher we climb on the ladder of spirituality, the more we banish the evil inclination from our presence, the more it burrows deep into our psyche, ever ready to seize upon the opportunity to explode from its cage and destroy us.

Of course, there are people and there are people. Some people are just not prone to sexual desire as much as others. But all of us need attention, warmth, kindness, compliments, all of the things that mean so much to us when given by anyone, but surely when given by the opposite sex!

Our amygdala, the seat of our uncontrolled emotions, is much more powerful than our cognitive brain. Thus, when the cognitive brain decides that adultery is bad, and the amygdala is excited, it is no contest. Piety is not worthy shucks in such a case.

The Torah teaches two ways to stay away from unwanted sexual attractions and dalliances. First, we must stay away from the other sex, period. Surely, working all day with the other sex is an invitation to disaster. Secondly, we must seek with the utmost urgency a mate, and make our sexual lives flourish.

Rabbi Yehuda the Pious says that if we refuse to have passionate sex with our spouse, we may end up having it with a stranger. Never may we feel comfortable with our temptations until we have eaten to satiety in our own home.

The Talmud says, for instance, that when a man leaves on a journey, he must first take leave of his wife in a manner to sustain them both sexually doing his absence. This may be done even in manners that would normally be considered sinful, such as during times close to her period.

Thus, in order to survive spiritually, morally, and to remain married, we must assiduously cultivate our marriage, get it moving, get it sparking. And stay away from other men or women who may tempt you, because if they do, there is very little you can do about it.

Must women work with men, or must men work with women? Most jobs, of course, are in offices with men and women. If family is important to you, or if you are really concerned about your children's future, invest some time in energy in making some side business that could eventually support you, and you won't be a slave to the global companies, and a pawn in the sex wars.

Ultimately, those who want to live morally are going to have to assert themselves. We will have to win the right to establish working conditions that don't tear at our morals every day.

What do you think? Send us a response.

Return to the Home Page.